Long road to destruction
by Panic.its.sammiie
Summary: What happens when Chuck leaves Blair? When Nate finally comes to terms to who he really wants. Follow Blair's journey to find the man she loves. Summary sucks i know. Please R&R. Rated T just incase
1. Authors note

**Author note:** Alright so basically this story is set the night chuck leaves and on wards. I thought that chucks disapearance wasnt emotional enough.  
Please note that Nate wasnt as innocent in the beggining but is now fine with Blair and Chuck.  
Serena and Dan are still together. Yes i love them together so in this story there is no shared sibling between them  
Also Lilly and Rufus are together but to whether they stay that way im not sure.

I really would like people's oppinions, it will help this process along that much please review.

So happy reading!  
Lovee sammiie xo


	2. So Close and yet so far

**Authors note: **Alright so basically this story is set when chuck leaves blair. With much, much more drama. A mistake sends Blair around the world to find the man she loves.  
NOTE: Nate is not as innocent in this story but all is forgiven, as you will find in later chapters. The foursome met when they were five.  
Also the whole serena and dan sharing a sibling never happens and Rufus and Lillys relationship is more open now.

I have six nearly seven chapters finished but need a few reveiws to help me in the process.

**___________****_________________**

_You're the closest to heaven that ill ever be  
and I don't want to go home right now  
and all I can taste is this moment  
and all I can breathe is your life  
And sooner or later its over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight-Iris  
_____________________________

Chuck Bass stared down at the petite brunette angel that lay in a peaceful slumber. He smiled at himself. After 13 years, he finally told her his true feelings. 13 torturous years in watching her and his best friend Nathaniel Archibald being together. Blair Waldorf was everything he could have imagined and more. Unlike Nate, chuck knew what Blair wanted. She wanted a knight in shining armour; she wanted someone that could relate to her in some way or another. She needed to be loved the way she deserved to be loved. Nate couldn't give that to her, because his heart lay on Serena. Serena Van Der Woodsen was the other best friend. Chuck knew that Nate pines over her; just the look in his eyes was enough of an explanation. He never looked at Blair that way. This thought caused chuck to clench his fists in anger. He could have killed Nate, Blair had a life planned out with him and all he could do was screw her over. Chuck took a deep, measuring breath, and reverted his gaze back to Blair.

A smile still lay in place on her perfect pink lips. So beautiful, so peaceful and oh so innocent. Chucks entire body froze. How could he do this to her. After the death of his father, his own emotions were erratic. He walked a very thin line on a precarious rocky cliff. Would he be able to control the emotions that he felt. He certainly couldn't trust them, not at all. He wouldn't pull Blair down with him. He truly did not want to hurt Blair, but how could he trust himself. Something had to be done.

A tear broke through his barrier that was once impenetrable. Charles Bass did not cry very often. It was a very rare thing to happen. The tears dripped onto the page as the pen flowed across. He swiped them away furiously. He hunched his shoulders, leaving the note on the pillow he lay on. Chuck placed a loving, light kiss on the sleeping angels forehead, tucking a chestnut lock of hair behind her ear. Slowly he turned away and walked out of the bedroom door, for what he thought would be the very last time.

A heartbroken Chuck rode down the 57 floors to the lobby. He knew that he couldn't go back. He had to save Blair from the future he would give her. With only 20 floors left, he tried in vain to pull himself back together. Even just to stop crying. One floor left and Chuck had managed to stop the emotion, it wouldn't stay that way for long. He had to go somewhere private, it was building. The bottle that he had put his emotions in would burst. A heartbroken chuck stepped out into the annoyingly, fluorescent lit lobby.

Blinking momentarily he turned into the direction of the entrance doors.

"Mr. Bass. Where would you be headed at two in the morning?" the desk clerk asked in a generic tone.  
Chuck merely grimaced and stalked out the front entry. The desk clerk watched the broken, tear stained Chuck continue out to the entry gates.  
Chuck shivered as he pulled his Armani jacket closer around him. Standing under the lamp post he pulled out his phone and began tapping in the numbers for his driver and then the numbers for his fathers' private jet.

There stood chuck under the lamp post at 2:02 am in the freezing cold November morning. He closed his eyes lightly, leaning on the post. The memory came back to him as fresh as it had of been only yesterday.

_Chuck bass stood on the edge of the building.  
A very drunk Chuck bass that is.  
He wasn't sure how to fell at that moment.  
So he just felt the anger.  
The anger made him bring the bottle to his lips once more.  
Losing his footing the bottle he was drinking out of fell to a crash.  
"Opps"  
"Chuck!" Jack his uncle called from behind.  
Chuck lost his footing again.  
"No! You idiot! You don't surprise someone that's standing of the edge of a building" Chucks heart jumped momentarily as he heard HER voice.  
The voice of an angel.  
"Chuck come away from there lets go down and enjoy the party" jack suggested.  
"I was at the party, im not really that into it" Chuck slurred.  
"Chuck your father wouldn't have wanted this"  
"Dear old dad. Fortunately all I knew was what he didn't want..Which is me" He turned to the city below.  
"IM CHUCK BASS!... … … And no one cares"  
"I do. Don't you understand. Ill always be here. I don't want you going anywhere. I couldn't bare it. So whatever you want to do to yourself.  
Please don't do that to me" Blair held a tiny hand out to him.  
"Please" she begged.  
He took her hand in his as she helped him down.  
He dropped His head onto her neck.  
"Please" she whispered.  
"Im sorry" Chuck said holding her tight, afraid of letting go.  
"Its okay" she pulled his head closer comforting the broken man she loved._Chuck pinched the bridge of his nose. He had never felt at more of a loss than now. He had finally lost everything he held close to him. Although his Father and he didn't get along the way they should have, it still hurt Chuck. Even more than he was letting on. The only other person that meant more to him was Blair and still is. He snarled under his breath. He regretted the choice, but he would not go back. Blair's life was shining bright she had such a future ahead of her. Chuck saw nothing but the endless procession of days that meant nothing to him. He would wallow his pain in booze. To completely lose tack of time, like he knew it would.

A sleek black limo pulled Chuck out of reverie. The driver opened the door for him. Chuck looked up at the hotel for the last time, the tears fell freely.

"Blair Cornelia Waldorf, I will always love you" he whispered at no one as the limo drove off into the distance.


	3. It will never be too late

_Even if I say  
itll be alright  
still I hear you say  
you want to end your life  
Now and again we try  
to just stay alive  
maybe well turn it all around  
cause its not too late  
its never to late-Never to late_

  
Blair awoke to a cold, empty bed. She sat up pushing the duvet away. Panic settled deep in the pit of her stomache. The room felt to cold, eerie cold. Like a decision that has been finalised. She scrambled out of bed and padded to the bathroom, where the lights were on. She pushed the door, to find it empty. She let out a sob. Frantically she combed the room for some sign of him. She flopped uselessly onto her bed, the tears began to run never ending.

Tugging at the pillow Chuck had been lying on she found a piece of paper folded in half. Her whole body began to shake, sobs escaped her mouth.

**Im sorry for everything  
You deserve better  
Don't come looking for me  
-Chuck**

Tears stained the paper. A light of hope glowed as Blair looked at the wall clock. 2:18am. In desperation Blair ran to the window. There under the lamp post near the entrance to the Palace, stood the man she loved. He stood with his hands in his pockets leaning against the pole. Blair hastily tries to open the window, but the panic she felt made this impossible. The glint of black turned this panic to fear. Shoving on a pair of slippers Blair Waldorf flew out of her room and into the stairwell.

A panic ridden Blair ran down the 57 floors. _ChuckChuckChuckChuck_. She repeated his name, almost praying. She needed him, there was not one single edge of doubt to that. Her heart ached for his touch. For his kiss. A world entangled in his strong, warm arms. A world that needed Chuck Bass. A panic ridden Blair flew out of the stairwell door to stop in the bright lobby. The Desk Clerk blinked in astonishment.  
The Blair Waldorf he knew, never stepped out of her apartment without a highly overpriced outfit, hair perfectly in place and a very poised manner. Like Audrey Hepburn revolutionized. But in the midst of what he thought to be the Blair he knew, stood this new creation. A new Blair Waldorf with tears cascading down her pink cheeks. Her hair a tousled mess in a nightgown and slippers. She stared in horror at the desk clerk. He smiled at her. He heard her huff in anger as she ran out the Doors.

The sleek, black limo pulled off the curb and continues down the road.  
"No!" Blair screamed at the top of her lungs. The limo was going the complete opposite way to be going to his suite. She continued to run down the street, her heart raced pumping adrenaline into her blood stream. But as the limo indicated to go left she knew that she had lost. The airport was in the next few blocks in the direction he was headed. She didn't stop however, she pushed on. Hoping, praying that she would make it in time to persuade him to come back. Doubt nagged at her insides. She ignored it.  
"No, Waldorf you must be strong" she whispered to herself as people watched in awe as Queen B of the upper eastside paraded the streets in her night wear. Thank the lord that most people were far too intoxicated to even think of remembering when they awoke that afternoon with a killer hangover. She didn't stop, she wouldn't. Her feet began to protest loudly covered in nothing but Black slippers. She stared at the street signs. She had no idea where she was. Coming to an abrupt stop she frantically looked for a street she knew. Blank. Her head began to spin, she slumped down in to a heap on the concrete and gave into the hysterics she felt.

A broken Queen lay on the ground, crying her poor little heart out. She felt alone. Useless. She had lost him. She wrapped her feeble arms around her stomache and let the tears continue to pour down to the ground.

The sun made its appearance, but did not spread its warmth on the tiny brunette who lay in a heap. Shivering from the utter fear of loss, Blair lifted her head to the blue sky. The vastness brought a fresh wave of fear her way.

"Ill never find him" she whispered brokenly.  
"Never" she continued to whisper to no one.

The bustle of the city finally broke into Blairs reverie. Her head snapped up as people walked with purpose to there destinations. Knowing exactly where they were headed.  
Blair didn't know where she was headed . She stood up and wiped at her face, to rid the evidence of tears. To no avail she walked with no destination in thought.

Cnetral park used to hold so much life, so much beauty. Today it was lifeless, dull and _cold_. Blair hated the people that walked through the park holding there loved ones closely. She sat at a bench overlooking the placed where she, Serena, Nate and Chuck had first met. Where her obsession with Nate had started.

_It was a freezing cold November night.  
The moonlight shone down to give the snow a beautiful silver glow.  
Four children all aged five ran around in the snow.  
A dirty blonde haired boy held a snowball in his hand waiting for someone to pop out of their hiding place.  
"Natie" The beautiful blonde bobbed her head out of the bush she was hiding in.  
Nate began to run after her. Serena giggled and leapt out of her hiding place.  
Their small bodies fell in a heap.  
"I got you!" Yelled a tiny Nate in glee.  
Serena gave her signature pout and wriggled out from underneath him.  
A tiny brunette sat on one of the benches shivering.  
And laughed as she watched the two blonde angels, that were her best friends run after each other. Chuck sat next to Blair.  
"Brrr" Blair shivered violently.  
"Here" Chuck wrapped his scarf around her.  
Blair smiled up at the Cute, mysterious brown eyed boy. His chocolate brown curls held tiny flakes of snow.  
"Come on lets go play" Chuck jumped down and held a hand out to help the brunette down. Once safely on the ground Chuck ran in the direction of Serena a snow ball secured in his gloved hand. Blair giggled and ran after him. When she was caught in someones arms.  
Nates. She smiled up at him.  
"I got you" Nate whispered. Blairs cheeks began to turn red.  
"I win!" the Blonde angel yelled triumphantly as a snow ball hit Nate in the back.  
Nate laughed and ran after her. Letting go of Blair.  
Blair felt her heart swell as she watched the Dirty Blonde haired angel run off. In that instance she knew what she wanted. Her world had now become Nate._

"Blair. Are you alright?" She heard the voice of Nate behind her. But she didn't feel the little jump her heart gave when ever he spoke to her.  
She was so caught up in her memory that she didn't notice the tears falling.  
She wiped at her cheeks.  
"He is gone" she replied hollowly.  
"Who is" Nate wrapped her in his soothing arms planting a small kiss on the top of her head.  
"Chuck" She whispered as more tears came.  
"Blair I don't understand?" Nate could be so air headed,  
"He left a note saying that he was sorry for everything and I deserved better. And not to go looking for him." Her voice was comepletely broken.  
Nate felt the pain she did. Blair buried her head in his warm chest.  
Nate held the fragile Blair as her tears subsided.  
Sniffling Blair sat upright and closed her eyes lightly. Taking a deep measuring breath, she wiped her face and turned to Nate who was on the phone.  
"Shit, he isn't picking up" he mumbled typing in more numbers.  
Blair shivered again. Nate noticed and pulled his jacket off, wrapping it around Blairs tiny frame.

"Serena said that she will meet us at the entrance" Nate held out a hand.  
Blair and Nate walked through the park hand in hand. Somewhere deep in her mind she knew that they would find the man she loved. They would eventually find Chuck Bass.


	4. friends are forever

_Ill be there for you  
When the rain starts to pour  
Ill be there for you  
Like ive been there before  
ill be there for you  
Cause youre there for me too  
____________________________

Serena heard the sound of her phone somewhere in the midst of her dream. Her eyes fluttered open to see her phone vibrating on the bedside table. She sighed softly and went to sit up. Dan groaned.  
"Good morning sweet heart" he murmured pulling her closer.  
Serena giggled. "Good morning to you my handsome man" she planted a kiss on his lips and reached over to snatch the phone up.  
The phone flashed nates name across the screen.  
"Hey Nate. Whats going on?" Serena asked mildly surprised to see the time he was calling at. He was usually asleep at this time.  
"Chuck's gone missing" Serena heard Blairs soft voice in the background.  
"Oh no. Where are you?" she jumped out of bed and began puling her Diesel jeans on.  
"Central park"  
"Stay there I will meet you." Serena hung up and flung on a white shirt and vest.  
"Okay so can I ask where you would be headed at 8 in the morning" Dan sat up rubbing at his face.  
"Chuck has gone missing. Blair is messed up by the sounds of it" She tugged her brown suede Christian Louboutin's. She sauntered over and placed both her hands on either side of Dans cheeks.  
"Im so sorry. I love you" She placed her lips on his.  
Dans strong arms pulled her closer deepening the kiss further.  
"Have fun." Dan said as Serena straightened up laughing.  
"I love you too" he said as she looped out of his room.  
And straight into her Mother in a fluffy white nightgown.  
"Okay I would ask but im really running late and quite frankly I don't think I want to know" Serena shook her head closing the loft door on the way out.  
"Good morning to you to dear" Lilly replied as the door swung shut.  
"What was that all about" Jenny walked out of her room rubbing at her eyes.  
"Crisis, whats new" Dan replied walking into the kitchen putting a new pot of coffee on.  
"What do you mean by-" jenny was cut of by the beeping of her phone.  
"Ohh a gossip Girl post" Jenny ran back into the kitchen perching herself on one of the kitchen stools.

**Good morning upper east siders and what a morning it has been. The notourious womaniser was seen fleeing from queen B's appartmet at 2 this morning. Followed by a very distraught B Running down the street after Bass in a deliciously dark slip and slippers. Is this the new fashion B. Hey im not complaining. Who want to get dressed when they can stay in there night wear.  
Maybe Chuck found out about Nate and Blairs on again relationship, walking hand in hand in central Park. This time Blair wearing Nates jacket. Wow you are the fashionable one now aren't you Miss B. What will poor Vanessa have to say. **

**On the other side of the bridge, it looks like not so lonely boy has been demoted to just lonely, after Serena was seen dashing from his apartment just minutes ago. Is there trouble in the not so expensive paradise.**

Sightings: C boarding his fathers private jet. Where are you headed mr bass? I will find out. B and N walking through central park looking quite comfortable. Well N anyway. S running down 5**th**** avenue.**

Ohh I do love to start the mornings with a bit of gossip and scandal.  
You now you love me xoxo Gossip Girl.

"Is that gossip girl. I thought I heard my nickname gossip girl gave me. Anything new?" Dan asked pouring coffee into his cup.  
"Hmm Chuck left Blair at 2 am, Blair chasing after yada yah You and Serena on the verge of breaking up. And chuck is fleeing the country" jenny replied nonchalantly.  
"Wow yepp nothing new," Dan laughed,  
"Good morning kids" Rufus walked out of his room looking very bright.  
"Okay now I feel somewhat uncomfortable" Dan picked up a book and walked to his room.  
"Ohh what do you mean Dan" Rufus wrapped his arms around Lilly kissing her neck.  
"Ohh yeah definitely uncomfortable" Dan closed his door shaking his head.  
"What did I miss?" Rufus asked confused.  
"Youre not the only one not knowing whats going on" lilly wrapped her arms around rufus and touched her lips to his.  
"Yes very, very uncomfortable!" jenny squealed running to her room.  
Rufus shrugged "Waffles?"  
"Waffles, sounds good. And coffee Very strong coffee" Lilly replied shaking her head.


	5. Thou shall not go mad

_Thou shall not fall  
Thou shall not die  
Thou shall not fear  
Thou shall not kill- Cry little sister  
___________________________________

The smell of alcohol and sweat felt like home. Chuck closed his eyes and relished in the fuzziness the hard liquor provided. He sat in a bar in London. He hated the accents the people had here, but it was definitely a nice change. The barman had left chuck with the bottle of scotch, which now contained enough for one more glass. The gentle thrum of cars outside drowned out the conversations around the room that Chuck did not want to hear. He had finally found peace. Well his version of peace anyway.

A vibration caused chuck to sneer as he fished his phone from his pocket. He had deleted every number from his phone. But the numbers were familiar enough.  
"Ahh dear Gossip Girl" he muttered to himself.  
He didn't particularly want to read it but some part of him made him open it. What he saw, wasn't what he was prepared for. Nate held a tiny broken brunette to his chest. There sat Blair wearing the night slip she wore to bed the night before and a pair of slippers. Nate looked Quite comfortable. One might think that he was in fact enjoying the company of his ex girlfriend. A small whimper escaped chucks lips. He flew into a self hate rage,

A chair flew into the mirror behind the bar, bringing down the shelves that sat above it. The barman shouted to the crowd to get out of the bar.  
"Sir. I will have to call the police if you do not stop this instance" the barman then yelled at chuck. Just one look from chuck said that he was too far gone to even care. Chuck snarling Nates name to the fiery pits of hell, threw a table into the wall opposite him causing a couple to break their embrace and run from the terror chuck was now causing. The distant sound of sirens warned chuck of what was too come next. This just made him more angry.  
"HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU!" he roared at no one and threw another table at the shelves filled with Glass cups. With an immensely satisfying crash, the glass fell in shards. Blasting towards chuck. He felt the small glass pieces pierce his skin. He welcomed this pain. The sirens came closer and chuck fell to his knees.  
"Why" he whispered as two burly looking men handcuffed him. Taking him to the paddy wagon, they began to question the barman.  
Chuck felt the three bottles of scotch he had drunk take over, tugging him into the wonderful world of unconsciousness.

A very stiff Chuck regained consciousness around 7pm the next night. Groaning he sat up, taking in his surroundings. The room pale grey and held a bunk bed and a toilet. The metal bars that held Chuck from the world outside were a menacing silver. He snarled. What had happened last night he had no clue of. Absolutely no recollection. He heard the sound of footsteps.  
"Mr. Bass" the guard blinked opening the cell and placing handcuffs around his wrists. He winced in pain as they dug into what felt like bruises.  
"Where are you taking me" Chuck asked nonchalantly.  
"Interview room. You will answer a few questions and you will be free to go. Someone has bailed you out" The guard grunted.  
"What? Who?" Chuck was surprised he knew no one here.  
"Once we had you detained, your phone started to go off. Seeing as though you are not from here. We decided to talk to the person calling" The guard continued in monotone.  
"I asked who? Not how" Chuck sneered  
"Chuck, what are you doing here?" his uncle jack stood up from the waiting room, which they were just passing by.  
"I try to call you to be told that you were under arrest in London" jack nodded at the guard, the guard released chuck from the handcuffs.  
Chuck rubbed his wrists, to see angry purple bruises decorate them.  
"This way Mr. Bass" The guard pushed Chuck into another plain room. With a turn of a lock, he left.

Two hours later chuck was free. Well mostly.  
"Chuck. Why are you here?" Jack asked.  
They sat in a little coffee shop near the airport  
"What does it matter to you anyway" chuck asked angrily.  
"Well. I don't know, im now your caregiver. So im pretty sure that it matters" jack measured up to his nephews anger.  
"Im not a fucking ten year old" chuck angrily spat. Shoving away from the table.  
"Where do you think your going?" jack yelled from behind him.  
"Bathroom" Chuck pushed past jack.

Chuck pushed the window open in the bathroom. Once out he made a bee line to the private jet. He banged on the cockpit door.  
The captain opened the door, clearly he had been asleep.  
"Yes Mr. Bass?" he asked politely.  
"To Paris please?" chuck didn't use manners very often, this startled the captain.  
"Sure"

Chuck Tore through the vanity on the plane. He found a bottle of perscripted sleeping pills. Pouring a hand full into his hand, he took them and walked back out to sleep the flight out. His phone began to vibrate annoyingly. He groaned and turned the phone off.  
"Try calling me now" he sneered, satisfied.

The sleeping pills were starting to take effect. Chuck sighed in a tired stupor and closed his eyes. What was he thinking, nothing felt better than a handful of sleeping pills. His head lolling to the side, he fell into an uneasy sleep. Tortured by dreams, he never wanted.

_A beautiful Blair walked through Central park in the arms Nathaniel Archibalds.  
"And what flowers do you want" Nate asked her.  
"White lilies and red roses" she stated laughing at this.  
"Ahh yes, the colours would go well" Nate stopped and turned Blair towards her.  
"Nate" she whispered.  
"Yes, Blair Bear" he looked into her eyes.  
"This will be the best wedding ever" she promised him.  
"Of course it will. You and I are forever" Nate kissed her lightly.  
Chuck could almost hear the skip her heart gave as he did this._

_Something in Chucks brain clicked.  
The woman he loved was going to marry his best friend.  
The scene changed and Chuck saw the familiar tall blonde he knew far too well.  
They were in Blairs bathroom. Serena was crouched down near a tiny shaking brunette. Serena had tears cascading down her cheeks.  
"Why B. You had told me that you had overcome this" Serena cried to Blair.  
Blair lifted her face to her best friend.  
"I cant do it S. I tried. I really did" she whispered.  
"You told me. You told me you stopped Blair. Why?" The blonde bundled Blair into her arms and held her close.  
"I didn't want you too worry about me" she replied.  
"B please don't do this. Don't do it to your mum, Nate, Chuck and me. Please don't do it to me. We love you" Serena pleaded.  
"Chuck doesn't love me. He never cared" Blair whispered brokenly.  
"Yes he did B. In the letter it said that he doesn't deserve you. Which I think he means that he doesn't want to hurt you" Serena explained kissing Blair on the forehead.  
"Well he did hurt me S. He has hurt me more than anyone that has. He left me" she screamed in that broken voice.  
"I know, but he must have thought that he was doing well by you. He would have never wanted you to become.." Serena couldn't say the word.  
"Say it S. It makes no difference. Im bulimic" She cried into the shoulder of her best friends.  
"I want him back S. I cant do it without him"  
_  
Chuck was woken up by the bright sun, streaming through the windows on the side.  
It took him a few minutes to realise that he was crying.  
_  
_


	6. Angel that i believed

I am sooo sorry for the late update.  
Thankyou to the two people who have reviewed this story so far.  
And to the countless amount of people who have favourited?Alerted this story.  
Though some more reviews will keep me more focused.  
Until the next chapter :)  
**Dedicated to: Chairlovforever :D**

_Sparkling angel I believed  
You were my saviour in my time of need.  
Blinded by faith I couldn't hear  
All the whispers, the warnings so clear.  
I see the angels,  
I'll lead them to your door.  
There's no escape now,  
No mercy no more.  
No remorse cause I still remember  
The smile when you tore me apart- Within temptation_  
_______________________________________

She held her breath as she heard the connection.  
Crossing her fingers she prayed to the Gods that he would pick up.

_Ring ring  
ring ring  
ring ring_

She felt the breathe escape from her lips.  
Slowly she began to time it.  
32 seconds gone.  
She knew he wouldn't pick up.  
The phone fell from her now limp hand.  
Tears slipped down her cheeks.  
"He really is gone"

Chucks POV

Chuck's breath stopped, he heard her.  
"He really is gone" the despair in her voice was undeniable.  
"Blair.." he whispered. His hands clenched around the phone.  
"Blair?" he all but yelled.  
He heard the faint sobs, picturing the brunette with tears slipping down  
her cheeks, lying on her thousand dollar Egyptian cotton duvet. The line  
went dead.  
Chuck dropped the phone, placing his head in his hands, Waiting for the  
tears to stop.  
It was going to be one hell of a night.  
_____________

"Mees Blair" Dorota called through the hallway.  
"Not now" Blair wiped at her face, trying in vain to hide all  
evidence of her tears.  
She was going to be strong, she would even if it meant to pretend.  
"But Serena is here" Blair heard the distinct clacking of Dorota's  
Shoes, mixed with the sound of Serena's brown suede boots.  
"Just a minute" Blair called out.  
Running to the bathroom she sent her clothes flying, scrubbing the  
mascara of her cheeks.  
A soft knock sounded from the door way.  
"Blair" the beautiful blonde pushed the door open.  
"Serena!" Blair put on her most fake smiling and ran to the Blonde  
hugging her as tight as possible.  
"Oh Blair you cannot fool me, I'm not that stupid!" The blonde  
looked offended.  
"What do you mean S" Blair's voice was far too fake.  
She winced as she finally noticed that. Serena glared at Blair.  
"I'm sorry" Blair sobbed slightly and crumpled to her bed once  
more.  
Serena felt bad.  
"No, B. I'm sorry" Serena sat next to her broken best friend.  
She looked like she hadn't slept in weeks, or eaten for that fact.  
"B?" Serena asked cautiously.  
Blair looked at her best friends face expectantly.  
"When was the last time you ate?" Blair's face fell into her  
hands.  
"I'm sorry" she whispered into them.  
"What do you mean by that Blair?"  
Blair looked at Serena. It all clicked.  
---

Serena found out about Blair's problem long before she told her.  
They sat in Serena's penthouse eating all the comfort food they could  
find.  
Nate had told Blair that she would never be good enough for him.  
"Im sorry Blair" he said not sounding sorry in the very least.  
He turned to his now ex girlfriends best friend and smiled at her.  
Serena stared at him as he mouthed the words she didn't need to hear.  
She walked up to him and slapped the words he uttered right out of his  
mouth.  
With that she took a hold of Blair's tiny hand and called a taxi  
over.  
She would make Blair forget about the lowlife bastard. What better way  
to forget than to club the night away into oblivion. High fashion, best  
friends and as many Martini's as they could possibly drink were the  
only things to cure the heart.  
Blair was slightly drunk and eating the devils food cake Serena's cook  
had made.  
Serena was completely drunk, laughing at the tiny people below her  
penthouse in the Palace.  
Blair looked down at the mass amounts of food that sat on Serena's  
bed.

---

Blair didn't feel to good, the contents of her stomach began to churn.  
Serena heard Blair give out an almost audible scream turning to see why;  
she saw her running to the bathroom.

Blair felt tears running down her cheeks. She had never felt so alone.  
Shoving her small fingers down her throat once more just to be sure that  
every little thing that had entered her stomach was out. She looked at  
her body in disgust. What had become of the once strong Blair. She  
laughed hollowly at that thought. What strong Blair. There wasn't  
anything strong about the feeble person she was. Her father left her,  
her mother didn't care about her and Nate had dumped her and now Chuck had left her. She  
couldn't control them; she could however control her own body. She had  
to be in control of something in her life. Still not satisfied with the outcome she kept going. Slowly Blair began to weaken, but satisfaction still evaded her. She pushed her fingers further down her throat desperately trying to seek happiness. A wave of pain washed over Blair. Stabbing pains ensued in her stomach, which turned to a horrible burning. She clutched at her stomach letting out a cry.

Serena was far too scared to open the door. She heard a small retching  
sound. The faucet was running as hard as it could. Serena did not know very much about the disorder, yes she had heard of it. But never thought that anyone so close would have it. She heard a cry of pain, this snapped Serena out of her fear. She ran too see Blair out cold on the floor.  
"BLAIR!" Serena ran to the body of her best friend. She picked up Blair's arm and checked for the pulse. It was weak but still present. Fumbling, she pulled out her phone and called the ambulance.

____________  
Chucks POV

The dreams had caused him far too much pain, he scrambled around trying to find something that would make him forget. His vain attempts fell to nothing but failure. After hearing Blair's voice only a few hours prior. His feeble, depressed state only pushed his mood further downhill. He knew he shouldn't have taken those sleeping pills. Blair. That stupid feeling rose again and swirled his stomach, close to the point of vomiting, Chuck stopped searching and swiftly walked of the plane.  
Taking in his surroundings chuck stalked off to the little restaurant located in the centre of the air port.  
"Welcome to La chateau. Ill be your hostess for the evening" A beautiful red head sauntered over giving him a warm smile.  
"Just a scotch thanks" chuck twisted his mouth into a tiny smile "and please keep them coming" he slipped her a hundred dollar bill, winking.  
She giggled and nodded. He slipped his vibrating phone out of his pocket and glared again at the numbers.

**Afternoon upper east siders, today is teeming with gossip.  
Thanks to a tipp off we have now located our notorious player, sitting in a restaurant in Paris, it seems as if he is a little taken aback from the news of his dear B. The queen herself was seen being rushed to hospital. Wonder what happened to our B. I do hope its scandalous. Seems like the happy ending for N and V may never happen a very annoyed looking V stormed of from a confused N, in a little bookstore in Brooklyn , maybe she saw the picture of his ex in his jacket, ohh dear. Well the next few hours shall be full of gossip. Our well wishes go out to Queen B  
you know you love me xoxo Gossip Girl**

"How is she" Serena ran to the doctor.  
"Well she seems fine however the baby is in critical condition" the doctor looked at Serena sympathetically.  
"Oh my god that's, hang on did you just say baby?" Serena clapped her hand to her mouth.  
"Yes, im pretty sure I did"  
"She's pregnant?!" Serena almost screamed.  
"Yes, three weeks pregnant" the doctor now shook his head at the blonde who collapsed into the nearby chair.  
"Can I see her?" The blonde shakily stood up and placed a hand on the wall to steady herself.  
"I guess for a while" the doctor led her down a generic white hall lined with light green doors.  
"There you go" the doctor opened the door and let the blonde in.

"Hey B" Serena sat down in the chair located next to the bed. Watching her best friend stir  
Blair was looking quite drowsy.  
"Hey S" she whispered.  
"Umm did you hear the news" Serena placed her hand on Blair's.  
"Hmm?" Blair shook her head.  
"B, I was talking to the Doctor. He said that you're pregnant and the baby's in critical condition" Serena stated quietly.  
"Oh no" Blair dissolved into tears.  
"How?" she sniffled trying to control herself.  
"What happened?"  
Serena sighed and told Blair what she knew.  
"Three weeks?" Blair said stunned.  
"Yes. B, we will get through this. I will always be here" Blair wiped at the tears.  
"So it was morning sickness? I felt sick but no matter how much I threw up I still felt sick" Serena nodded. Blair turned away from Serena and broke down, crying soundlessly into her pillow.

**Gossip girl here and didn't I tell you that the next few hours will be scandalous.  
Dear B my heart goes out to you. Yes C you're a father. You should never doubt me, I knew this would come This will definitely be interesting how the child grows up. With a player for a father and a prim mother, I really do feel for the poor thing. So now we know why C jumped countries, cant stand being tied down, my my this will certainly be interesting.  
Until next time, you know you love me xoxo gossip girl. **Blair looked over at her best friends sleeping form. It was 4 in the morning and Blair couldn't sleep a wink. Her life was ruined. How could she be so freaking carless, she should have made him wear protection. She knew it was chucks. She hadn't been with nate for two months. Tears fell onto the white blanket. Pain seared white hot across her abdomen, she clutched at her stomach and screamed in pain. Wild beeping sounds came from the machine next to her, she screamed for help, but couldn't fight the black tugging. She held on and shook Serena. She startled awake and saw the pained, frantic expression on her best friends face. Serena hit the help button as Blair's eyes rolled up and collapsed in a heap.

Yes, i had to put a cliff hanger here. Review pleaseee. Constructive criticism is great too :D xo


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